Walk the Sacred Path
by Ellixer
Summary: What happend after 'all things', just what I think.


Title: Walk the Sacred Path  
Rating: PG  
Summary: After all things, what happens? Is   
there love, hate, ideals, conception? Is there   
the realization of something more? A story of   
actions and thoughts where words cannot describe.  
Endorse: Show and characters belong to Fox, CC,   
and 1013. The story is mine. Please send   
feedback, as I love any and all things you send.   
At least I know you read it. Please archive, just   
ask me, make sure to attach my name and so forth.   
Want to know where it's going.   
xtrekangel@hotmail.com Listen to Powder Blue by   
Elbow, it really goes with the story. It brings   
out the emotion.  
  
She woke up confused. Rubbing her eyes she   
remembered she was in Mulder's apartment. Laying   
her head back against the couch she watched the   
shadows play against the wall. The day's behind   
her resurfacing in a manifestation of dreams that   
played themselves out against her will, though the   
outcome of those dreams was...... was...... She   
needed to leave, she had to get away before he   
woke. If she got away, then maybe he would   
forget. Well, at least he wont say anything that   
might lead to further discussion down a path both   
were not ready to travel, or just not yet   
accepting that it is their path to travel. She   
walked to the bathroom, fixing her hair. Really,   
deep down she was stalling. Maybe he would wake   
up. But no, she has to leave. Walking over to   
his bed she grabs her coat, and glances briefly at   
him. To long of a glance might prove her undoing.   
Willing her feet to move she makes it out of his   
apartment. As she closes the door behind her she   
leans against it as if exhausted, no in regret for   
what she realized the other day was something she   
had repressed over the years. Not really   
repressed, but tried to repress. She knew what   
she wanted, and that was where her path leads to.   
But how would she get to that path? And when will   
she get there?  
  
Exhausted, she flopped on her couch. Not caring   
at the moment about changing. She did not turn on   
any lights, preferring the solitude of the   
darkness. But she wanted to hear something   
besides her own thoughts. Grabbing her remote for   
her stereo, she turned it on, the volume low, and   
played the 3rd cd, track 8.   
I am ready for love,  
All of the joy and the pain,  
This song might make her cry, but she wont. To   
think, seven years without a relationship, except   
as a friend to Mulder. No love had, lost, but   
love longed for, dreamed of, and realized. Love   
from a startlingly close proximity, to be reached   
for, but never actually grab hold of. Do people   
really live like this? Or this yet another way to   
torture them? She's seen it in his eyes as well,   
the silent longing. She knows he has some   
feelings for her, just by his actions. But   
they've both been in denial, making up excuses for   
not revealing the one secret they always kept to   
themselves, never to reveal. Never until they   
realize it without words, now, for awhile, for   
years. But she feels it is too soon now, maybe   
soon, hopefully soon. She prays it's soon. Then   
they can step out of the darkness of their own   
hearts and embrace the light.  
  
  
He woke up, and laid there, listening. 'Is she   
still here?' Probably not. He can't hear a   
thing. Throwing the sheets off, he swings his   
legs over the side of the bed. He didn't really   
expect her to stay. She wouldn't allow herself   
too. Damn her and her ....her.... He sighed and   
walked out of his room, looking at the couch. She   
had folded the blanket neatly. That's so like   
her. But, what did he expect from her? Was she   
supposed to stay? What would have happened then?   
Well, there's nothing to be done about it now. He   
can only hope...... He walked back to his room   
and sprawled back on the bed. He wanted something   
from her that she wasn't willing to give up. Her   
heart.  
  
  
She realized she wanted something more than what   
she had. Not just relationship wise, but the   
possibility of a child. She realized she wanted a   
child, no she had realized that when she lost the   
possibility, she dreamed of having a child. A   
tiny life to care for and hold. She knew who's   
child she wanted it to be, but that wasn't really   
a possibility was it. Well, maybe some how.   
  
  
  
The basement seemed colder to her than usual.   
Maybe it was just the nervousness, the   
anticipation. She was afraid of what he would   
say, or wouldn't say. She looked at the poster on   
the wall. I want to Believe. And she did want   
that, but not the belief in aliens, the belief   
that one day you can find the one person you love   
and spend the rest of your life loving them, being   
with them, holding them. And hadn't they done   
just that? The one thing that would make them   
something more, was the one thing they had yet to   
grapple with. She paced back and forth a few   
times before sitting down in her chair. The   
consequences of her quest ran over and over   
through her head. Then she realized she couldn't   
do it. Not there, not now, she had to wait. As   
she stood up to leave he came in, and she stopped   
and smiled at him. A smile of longing and regret.   
He begins to tell her about his meeting with   
Skinner, but she does not listen. She only stands   
there looking into his eyes, lost to thought. "I   
need to talk to you later." She says, ignoring   
his words. Then slowly she walks off. Leaving   
him baffled and confused.   
  
  
They stand there in her apartment. She is   
telling him her idea. He is amazed by the fact   
that she has asked him to do this. He doesn't   
want this to come between them, but she knows it   
won't. She tells him what has to happen, the   
probability of success. He is happy for her to   
have this opportunity. He amazes her all the   
time. This moment he is being selfless, but maybe   
he wants this almost as much as she does. She   
wishes that she could tell him her love for him.   
The love which she had bottled up and held tight   
with a cork. What will happen between them now?   
They cant stay the same any more. Either they   
will get closer, or further apart. But they will   
not remain the same.  
  
  
Slowly she pushes the door open. He stands from   
his sitting position on the couch. He knows   
before she says anything, he can see it in her   
eyes. The pain is seeping through. She attempts   
to tell him the bad news. It's hard for her to   
get the words out. It didn't work. They both   
wanted it to work, but it failed. He tries to   
console her, and holds her close to his body.   
Finally her tears are shed at the same moment rain   
begins to tap against the window. God cries for   
them. They share their pain together. She wishes   
she could give him what any man deserves, a child.   
But she cannot, and it hurts her deep in her soul.   
She can feel his love generating through his body,   
transferring over to her. He tells her not to   
give up, but she has too. It wasn't meant to be.   
He wants to make her pain go away, she can see it   
in his eyes. She wants to be with him, and him to   
be with her. She wants to be more than friends.   
She needs his undying love. She has been lonely   
for far too long. Looking into his eyes she can   
see a glint of a tear. Then she knows she has   
tell him. In this moment of sadness and grief for   
what cannot be, there is the chance of what can   
be. She needs to tell him. He goes to get her a   
drink but she stops him with one word. She looks   
down at her feet. It's hard to do this. He wants   
to know what's on her mind. Finally she looks at   
him, and grabs his face between her trembling   
hands. 'I love you.' She whispers, almost   
painfully so. He closes his eyes a moment, then   
smiles down at her. 'I love you too.' He   
whispers. They stand there, for a lifetime, for   
eternity. Drowning in their words. Then she   
pulls him down and kisses him, as lovers kiss.   
Electricity fills her body, and pours out from   
every pore. She wants more from him, but he wants   
to stop. He doesn't want to take advantage of   
her. She doesn't care. She continues to kiss   
him, and he gives in. Then they became lovers,   
moving beyond the realm of friendship alone. That   
night she became whole again.  
  
  
Through heavy tears she tells Skinner the news,   
after he has delivered news of his own. She isn't   
sure if she should be happy or sad. A miracle,   
and a loss, all in the same day. Her friend and   
lover had been taken from her, yet she was given   
the miracle of carrying his child. She can taste   
the salt of her mixed tears. The tears of utter   
joy, and tears of pain, for part of her had been   
ripped out. She should have known sooner, the   
signs were all there. She wished she had known,   
she wished she could have told him. She just   
wished she could have him back. She wanted that   
love she had a chance to feel for a few brief   
moments in time. Insignificant to some, sacred to   
her. She can only hope he comes back soon, safe,   
before their child is born. He deserves that   
much. She deserves that much. It is not time to   
grieve yet. She is going to find him, she has to   
find him. He will be found. And together they   
will walk the path God had chosen for them,   
together they will live. 


End file.
